It’s strange how the smallest encounter can affect you greatly.
A small Laotian man tells a group of almost strangers to pair up. I’m transported back to my school years: it’s sports class and teams are being picked, but this time instead of calling out names one by one, teams (in this case pairs) are arranged with nods. I turn to the girl next to me, acquaintances for a few hours now, after meeting a week earlier in another town. We exchange knowing glances, grab our oars and move towards the closest kayak – and that was it, a small nod, the start of a long and lasting friendship.
Some people you meet can change your life and perspective of friendship – their presence stays strong in your memory for life. In general, this bond is formed so purely and is rapidly reciprocated –but sometimes not, and in that case, let them go, it’s creepy!
But what determines who we form such strong connections with?
On the road, travellers meet other travellers, and most assign these strong bonds to being around like-minded people. It is a plausible reason: you share life-changing experiences, so naturally you are going to share memories and a special bond. But I’ve travelled and met an obscene amount of other backpackers, all on the same journey, and yes I have shared numerous speechless moments with them, yet only a few remain fresh in my mind on a daily basis. Some of these people I spent weeks with and others only an hour or two.
So why only a few? It goes to show that true friendship comes from more than just sharing experiences with fellow backpackers.
Yes, my Facebook is brimming with international “friends”, but how many of them are true friends? Friends that I keep in regular contact with, people I never run out of things to talk about, the ones who are more than just travel companions from that time, in that country.
True friends stay friends forever (and yes that phrase is cheesy, but true).
Our lives may take us on completely different paths and often we may reside in different continents. But this doesn’t matter. I have friends in Switzerland and the United States, whilst I reside in Australia, but to this day I count them as some of my closest and dearest friends.
These days staying connected is not a problem – communication has never been easier – so maintaining these friendships is a no-brainer. Often, the only way people disconnect from people is when they go to sleep, or travel to a remote destination like the Gobi Desert or drop their smartphone in the toilet.
So because of some unknown alchemy you have clicked with someone – instant best friends. But without today’s technology and global communication as swift as a 10 second Snapchat, would these friendships have fizzled? Would I have taken the time and effort to remain in touch via snail mail?
For me, technology is irrelevant in maintaining these friendships. These friendships remain fresh for years after the first meeting. If I don’t stay in regular contact, when we meet up again or randomly bump into each other, we will click instantaneously all over again. Facebook friends or not, these relationships are formed from a pure place.
Don’t get me wrong, social media will definitely increase the odds in meeting up again as it allows us to force fate, but it’s not a necessity. I also don’t mind the regular two-hour long Skype chats across borders, after all, they’re my best friends.
My mind gets blown every time I consider the circumstances or try to reason why these friendships are formed. Why does this person from this foreign place holds such a special place in my heart?
But it’s time to stop analysing; it’s time to embrace.